October 26, 2004

  • ...So certain...am I...



    This nights
    so freezing cold
    and I shiver
    struggling..to stay
    cosy with life


    I am told
    there is a dawn coming
    and a blazing sun
    awaits my turning
    in my void


    To seep in
    buttering me in warmth
    once more...I know
    yes I do know
    there is one


    How long this wait...but
    I wonder...shivering
    as i orbit
    in hopeful anticipate
    but still...uneasy


    ...With questions...
    will the day come
    and pass...unclouded
    or will it be...at all
    ...as warm...as promised...


    This, may not be
    but then, something will
    of this I am assured
    ...and in that I...
    can be and am


    ...So certain...am I...


October 1, 2004

  • in passionate exchange...



    my words
    must curl...
    in sinous encirclement
    as its curves
    hug warmly
    in gripping...immerse
    for your attention
    its body language
    memerisingly charged
    with simmering emotes
    sultry...yet subtle
    boiling over in their heat
    of outreach
    as smouldering temptations
    ensnaring...perhaps
    in evocation
     
    writs...of exchange....
    as seductive...constructs...
    brushing softly
    in sweet harmony
    with yours on offer
    sifting from  interact...music
    a melodious duet
    of new rhythms
    soft and poignant...
    of point in counterpoint
    entwined with meaning
    an intermingle...with hard facts...
    thrustying and parrying
    pushing and plunging...at yours
    in probing vigour
    or currents of nuance
    an undertow of shades...flushed
    with 'rosy' tints...


    on stage
    as dreams...technicolour
    ideas...in ideals
    that bleed...colouring
    one within...one's own define
    of boxed thoughts
    framed...by writhing lips
    and darting tongue
    mouthing in sultry echoes...
    a modulate...'reflective'
    mirroring mooted argument
    hammering away...
    in a crescendo
    of  mounting notes
    as passions...embrace facts
    catalysing...in fresh express...
    a deepening meld...sparking
    new flames...an immolate
    voluntary...of involve


    which burns...
    with desire...to explore
    beyond our sanitised truths
    even...the bitter/sweet
    seeking in this now
    to know more...another
    for their ways be
    food...thought provoking
    feeds to suckle at
    or driven to...the honeypot
    by consuming hunger...for satiate
    an elusive essence ...
    so bound and cradled...
    in anchoring a mind
    buried...in fond dreams
    scaling peaks...and soaring
    to fresh horizons...
    of heady hights


    a welcome titilate
    of tantalising promise...
    mired...in hope
    clutched at by the drowning
    these straws...blowing
    in the wind
    of words...couched
    drawing...on your spirit
    unstinted
    in its giving
    sharing all depths...to seed
    awash in melds...
    and pregnant
    with freshness of  morning dew
    settling on
    a new days potentials...sought anew
    to be...a vison lived
    if at all
    so concievable.


    post though...
    sometimes...tendancies prevail.
    dominating and subjugative in inter relate
    as unfactored...expectations
    to bear fruit...or a harvest
    sown and reaped
    of poison and disharmony
    sickening...in wedging apart
    the cancer of growing distance
    as innate needs crave...more room
    for 'authorship'and identity
    chasms un abridged
    unfilled...the 'space'sought
    'ones'of ever-widening cracks...
    of dormant rifts....ironic
    this multiply of weakening bonds
    where in lonliness
    must breathe...the free one...


    bound to norms
    in ideals of freedom
    vice like...its appeal
    reigned...by structured thought
    yours now...to nurture
    in your garden...
    to blossom
    where  once...mine did
    as  an 'inspiration'...
    now shrunken
    shrivelled and so spent
    declines...in bringing yours...to ripening
    a brooding potential
    awaiting birth...as todays children
    not an age, thats hobbled
    by yesterdays dead.weight
    but by one...fecund
    and so...so alive....



August 26, 2004

  • advice...refuse or not


    Gather strength
    in the journeying
    from both...
    inside and out
    as ones,
    strengthening 'self' convictions
    enshrined...in resolute 'resolves'
    or posed
    in questions...seeking answers
    in tabled confirmity
    in ayes...that yes
    this IS...my 'I' now
    though my search...for self
    has not ended here
    but just...begun
    as 'I'...
    i explore myself
    in my prisons...and my playgrounds
    in perceptual...angled views
    its hard facets or soft dimensions
    defined by 'who'...
    am I...


    ?

August 5, 2004

  • a muses epitaph...



    a muses epitaph...
    a mind
    that Devolved
       words metamorphed to poetry
       by a poet...forged
       in fiery churn
       of passions meld
       resolved...to burn
       to embers ultimately Absolved
    by the 'One'...
    in cloaked litany
    so Involved



    in 'creation'
    expressed...
    perhaps Invoked
       to substance by desire
       coalesced in imagry...
       catalysed
       in longings
       woven webs innate...realized
       thus Provoked
    the clay of tenuous transience
    intrinsic to shimmer-n-fade
    when Revoked



    a wake
    as one buries
    an exist...a Past
       never meant as a future
       or a present...
       to Last
       elemental props...immerse and interrelate
       a staged play
       thus...so Cast
    in depleted words
    of tired stereotypes...from reserves
    once Vast



    entombed
    was it all
    meant to Die
       worship...
       seemingly so real
       delusional...or a Lie
       the gush of prose and verse
       mirrored in nuance...
       wild lament or Sigh
    nothing more
    than a mirage...of enrobed pulpits
    pedestals...to Occupy



    in evenings...remains...that cry
    in stands isolate...a head of stone...
    simply asking...Why...?

June 17, 2004

  • deliriums


    where
    do 'I' stand
    is it to be
    in in-between shades
    or in colours
    of pristine isolates
    underwritten...in my quiet

    or...an oasis
    set amidst the storms
    that swirl around me...nibbling
    hungers craving
    to take me...over
    consumed so completely
    my very define

    pinned so'
    and fuelled...by desires in outreach
    its fingers entwined ...held transfixed
    by the frenzy of rutting...independence
    versus empowering
    interdependence
    or...vice versa

    enmeshed and caught
    imprisoned in
    the 'free' of privacy...an intermingling
    of thoughts...inset in 'limits'
    spinning a vortex
    sucking
    at my essence

    do I
    nurse this child
    a relate...mine too
    cradling a future
    writ in fond hope...by imbibing spirits
    high on faith...or face facts of sober substance
    the thorny stuff...called conviction...

    must I
    dispassionately mull
    agonzing
    over squeezed tears...or just
    let it be..left as 'unsaids'
    of where...by choice or givens...
    my  'I' ...must stand.

    and ask...
    is this the depths of  'love'...I seek and want
    more...???
    or less...???

May 31, 2004

  • an epitah...on usurped...freedom


    that once...was


    no more room


    I checked out
    the room I had
    now cramped
    for personal space
    or expression
    as baggage now filled
    the emptiness
    of a reality
    that felt squeezed
    and uncomfortable
    devoid of values
    its freedoms...cramped
    as the new...
    moves in
    I must go
    turning my back
    on what was
    closing doors
    behind me...


    I move on...

May 7, 2004






  • 'walls' of belief...

    Hanging
    on a wall
    of mirrors
    monotones so monotonous
    in colourless...reflect
    what I see...it saw
    a glass ceiling
    beyond...a mirage shimmering
    between...my felt now
    and my, reflection
    ones hazily steeped
    'melded'...in the couch
    of shadowy truths
    my nights dreams
    of inner twilights
    some mulled
    clear in percept
    or precept...acknowledged
    others stir
    muddied in nuance...
    mere whiffs...sucked and drawn
    inhaled..in stoned express
    from deep within
    the dormance
    of 'our' stasis
    unbroken by enact..or 'choice'
    frozen in the cold
    of endless...wishful wait
    for gifts
    of warmth and promise
    seeds...of harvest
    for hungers gnawing
    craving...for a future
    to feed who
    me...I wonder
    will it be
    a mirage...destined
    or by the rudder
    of limited 'choice'
    to fade and lie
    deadened...its flesh
    squeezed of substence
    turning cool...
    in hollowed denial
    of seperate...realities
    ones...
    in detach...'adjudged'
    ruled...in conclusion
    as an illusion nurtured
    perhaps...by delusion
    of impaled convictions
    nailed...
    on a cross borne
    the ultimate crucifix
    awaiting resurrection
    and deliverence
    by hanging on
    on 'walls'...symbolic
    in imagine
    as an article...of faith
    the 'armour' of life
    or bars
    of its prison...

    Who...can tell...
    what is what...for sure

March 1, 2004

  • OUTSOURCING


    An extension on an excellent mull  by Tarana...:).at anurana,com, .quite a thought provoking song in fact...I add to the theme..in poetically speaking..another outsource...:)..Pardon the inspired ramble...:)


    Ah the times...
    like the seasons...some
    everchanging
    as winter and spring
    in cycles...come


    in the ranting
    dawn so bright
    inevitably comes
    a daylight
    lies relentlessly
    cloaked...in evenings
    gloom and night
    to mark...in splotches
    of warm colour
    the blight...
    or as icy finger paint
    a blanket...
    rather virginal white


    Yes...this round probably represants the 'seasons' as they be reflected in the national psyche...the uneasy fears of an age in the phase of possible deprivation...The ending of the boom times etc. the effects in the shorter cycles...or, in the longer ones, the rise of other nation states...A slavery of sorts being un-yoked with the  liberating 'power' of education and the raising of national prides...new power-centres...elsewhere.


    After the spring of 'feel good' and well being...interspersed with basically just the smatterings of now-n-then' crisis' of plenty :) (like eco-political flex and powerplay exercised in use and misuse)...In such times, a little handout of 'christian largesse' to the have-nots (traditionally the under-privileged third world citizenry) didnt matter/cost so much...At least not until the inevitable drying out phase of societal renewal which is almost axiomatic...


    Its a lesson re taught by history again and again ...yet its often ignored and therefore perils sporadically such variance on the quality of life.


    In such...winters of discontent...of seemingly less to go around, a scape-goat must be found, to insulate the inherent or generic 'in-efficiency'.At stake, the national id/pride, the questions on  the 'quality' of appropriate skill-sets, of those at the helm of affairs  or at the foundational worker-ant levels. Considered too, must be the tendency to retreat within protective jingostic social gyrations, or simple 'tribal' huddles. Barriers to  wall-off  in 'superior' teflon or lamb skins mindsets shedding...fuelled by and in, the bottom-line blame games.


    Ensues thus, the need to dump on...and quickly. Something or someone to pin on, all or as much of the baggage and blame for the current set of ills...All the 'shortfalls', be it jobs , resources...or consequences of earlier decisions made...Of bad long-range planning...or higher local salary/cost desires  which are  in sharp contradict with the lower price to pay expectations... for goods and services....Talk of wishes...:)


    Educational 'labours' be it by states or as individuals as investments in ability, are factors too. Some trials endured though are largely self made, by lack of earlier effort invested,  or at worse some delusional divisive wafflings and some admittedly...genuine generic causes.. Unadressed they become potential red-herrings raised to politically amplified... sound bites...that can and do, become hurtful and directed.


    I guess those who exemplify and contribute to a national strength..to build its 'greatness' are always drawn from all over...Power thus created is finite in that system..and it must flow... from focus to focus...necessarily leaving some places...undernourished...In lieu of concentration..at one place, .it must thus naturally be drawn and thus lacking elsewhere...


    Thats the synergy that drives 'progress' as couched in that famous cliche, laws of supply and demand. One effect in this controlled redistribution in the use iconic power is that such 'concentrations' must decay too if unreplenished,  as by use,  its effects gets spent...


    Those places and peoples and climes who launch and strive for a fresh charge...fresh
    'concentrations' are the new kings of the heap...or as new kids on the block. But fundamently theirs too is, but a crown in possible transition...New birthings/ambitions/equations and yes remarkable ideas  ensure... competition...youre egged to be on youre toes...Or sadly as individuals or on collective national backs...lie flatout and ready to be taken...by the new bulls that lead the 'whos now mighter' charge.


    But hark, this may be seemingly so...:)...but not really...for real  'power'...which in less obvious show of nuances...has many more games to play....or move on to....and take over.

February 13, 2004

  • as i watched...


    it was
    revelation awaited
    well...it felt like so
    a paradise...
    sought so long for
    an awakened...thirst
    fed...on the tap
    the milk...of human kindness
    and one drank deep
    from the well...so full
    on offer

    mine eyes
    were opened
    taking in all
    the wonders...nuzzled...exposed
    suggestive in duality...a vison
    to me...so beautiful and
    so needed

    i had craved
    and i was fed
    a private feed...of dreams

    so charged is
    my world now
    in its moves...onward
    and foward to
    completion

    For this...
    in humility greatful
    I thank thee....

February 8, 2004

  • in

    in my need...

    imagine...
    the biting cold

    that nibbles at me
    my hunger
    for the warmth
    of being loved
    companianship...rich with
    cravings satiated
    by the need
    to be desired
    swept into arms
    hugged in the meld
    sharing what
    could be
    or can be
    imagine...

    please...
    come to me
    i want to be
    and feel
    needed
    i wish to have
    my dream flirt
    with my reality
    its substance mollified
    adding...swaying to the
    rhythmic beat
    of stirring songs
    ours a duet intense
    not a solo perform
    plainative...without solace
    please...

    i wait
    lying unmasked...in my
    true nakedness
    for your arms in outreach
    bedded in depths
    of duality
    to laze
    lost in abandon
    under spells
    of magical haze
    soothed...the edges
    of sharp...razored focus
    a singular...
    subsumed ...and at rest
    in the soaring
    of passions mixed
    cocktails sipped at
    envolped by highballs
    of masti
    I wait...

    alone...
    so starkly so
    as high peaks
    that stand...ranged
    in pristine isolation
    with no one
    to share ones point
    in close proximity
    to the heavens possible...above
    no one to carry
    and reflect
    my aborted roots
    in grounds...to anchor my disconnect
    with all below
    that live an agenda
    so different...seemingly
    from mine immerse
    alone...

    I wish...
    even in decay
    change or evolve
    for 'you'
    to come to me...
    knight or maiden
    god or goddess
    who will take me...?
    engulf me
    use me
    my un inhibited spirit
    my lust...to live
    alive...engaged
    not dead...in aloofness
    my mind
    body and soul
    are yours on call
    would yours
    so be
    I wish...

    as i was
    born....to die
    i know...
    so like all
    i want to live
    inbetween
    in this interlude...brief
    this coming
    and this going
    curl and relish...in our 'us'
    thoughts in meld
    to impregnate and begat
    the 'children'...of such union
    fresh perspectives...
    so full
    of willing promises
    to carry and to nurture
    them...to potential
    ideas incarnate
    not brief flickers
    so beyond all
    as i was...

    in my need...